It is so nice to see that the Lord is calling us women from all walks of life to learn, encourage, love, and serve one another. He wants to increase our knowledge and understanding in things of the spirit and reveal to us the sins of the flesh that keep us from him, so that we may know him and love him more passionately, and be better used in his ongoing work.
I want to encourage you to bring a notebook and to write down your questions through the teaching session, so that Bridgett will be able to get through the material she has taken so much time to arrange. Bridgett has so much great material and so short a time to get it out. We have allotted time in small groups to discuss these questions, so again I would like to encourage you to bring a note book and write your questions and/or thoughts for discussion down, so that we may be able to discuss them in our small groups.
Your sister in Christ,
Jessica
Monday, January 28, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Knowing God
"My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing" Psalm 34:2-10.
One thing that struck me in these passages is the stark contrast between the usage of the word fear. In v.4 David talks about the Lord delivering him from his fears, those things which trouble/afflict him. Then in v.7 and 9 David talks about fear of the Lord. What a difference!! In v.9 this fear is reverential, worshipful, serving, respectful, honoring, awesome (these are some of the words that come to my mind). "...for those who fear him lack nothing" v.9
I was reading in my devotional bible this morning in connection with this Psalm. For a bit of background on the Psalm, David wrote this after ascaping King Achish in Gath when he pretended to be insane. He's talking about how faithful God remained during this time of trouble.
My devotional was talking about relationships and becoming aware of who your true friends are when you hit times of crisis. "As long as the relationship is enjoyable, they are with you all the way. But when it begins to demand some sacrifice on their part, they are hard to find. The ultimate measure of a friend is not where they stand in times of comfort and convenience, but where they stand in times of challenge and controversy. That being the case, apart from adversity of some kind, we would never know who our faithful friends really are."
It goes on to say, "In the same way we will never know in a personal way the faithfulness of Christ apart from adversity. As a result, our faith in Him would never increase. It would remain static. One of the primary reasons God allows us to face adversity is so that He can demonstrate His faithfulness and in turn increase our faith. If you are a believer, you have made a decision to trust Christ with your eternal destiny. But you will not experience His faithfulness in that particular area until you die. God wants more from you and for you than simple intellectual acknowledgement of His faithfulness. It is His will that you experience it now."
To me, this says while intellectually knowing Him is important, I must know him relationally, as my Heavenly father, not a distant relative. And, He wants this kind of loving, intimate relationship with me now. While the world around me will always disappoint me, my Father God never will. His faithfulness never never runs out!!!
It goes on to say, "If our lives are free from pain, turmoil, and sorrow, our knowledge of God will remain purely academic. Our relationship with Him could be compared with that of a great-great-grandfather about whom we have heard storeis, yet never met personally. We would have great admiration, but no intimacy, no fellowship. There would always be a sense of distance and mystery.
That is not the kind of relationship God wants with His children. Through the death of Christ, God has opened the way for us to have direct access to Him. He went to great lengths to clear the way so that nothing stands between Him and His children. There is potential now for intimacy between us and our Creator...
God is in the process of engineering circumstances through which He can reveal Himself to each of us. And both history as well our personal testimonies bear witness to the fact that it is in times of adversity that we come to a greater realization of God's incredible faithfulness to us"
(This was taken from How to Handle Adversity by Charles Stanley).
So dear sisters, who are we crying out to? The more we know about God and his awesome character the better we can cry out to him, as well as worship and praise Him, through any trial. I think that the more we know about God, the more naturally we will choose to cry out to him rather than the world. As I spend more and more time in His word, I am so so so much better equipped to handle any situation. God reveals Himself to me in trials, through scripture that He has stored up in my heart. And, that's beautiful!!!
One thing that struck me in these passages is the stark contrast between the usage of the word fear. In v.4 David talks about the Lord delivering him from his fears, those things which trouble/afflict him. Then in v.7 and 9 David talks about fear of the Lord. What a difference!! In v.9 this fear is reverential, worshipful, serving, respectful, honoring, awesome (these are some of the words that come to my mind). "...for those who fear him lack nothing" v.9
I was reading in my devotional bible this morning in connection with this Psalm. For a bit of background on the Psalm, David wrote this after ascaping King Achish in Gath when he pretended to be insane. He's talking about how faithful God remained during this time of trouble.
My devotional was talking about relationships and becoming aware of who your true friends are when you hit times of crisis. "As long as the relationship is enjoyable, they are with you all the way. But when it begins to demand some sacrifice on their part, they are hard to find. The ultimate measure of a friend is not where they stand in times of comfort and convenience, but where they stand in times of challenge and controversy. That being the case, apart from adversity of some kind, we would never know who our faithful friends really are."
It goes on to say, "In the same way we will never know in a personal way the faithfulness of Christ apart from adversity. As a result, our faith in Him would never increase. It would remain static. One of the primary reasons God allows us to face adversity is so that He can demonstrate His faithfulness and in turn increase our faith. If you are a believer, you have made a decision to trust Christ with your eternal destiny. But you will not experience His faithfulness in that particular area until you die. God wants more from you and for you than simple intellectual acknowledgement of His faithfulness. It is His will that you experience it now."
To me, this says while intellectually knowing Him is important, I must know him relationally, as my Heavenly father, not a distant relative. And, He wants this kind of loving, intimate relationship with me now. While the world around me will always disappoint me, my Father God never will. His faithfulness never never runs out!!!
It goes on to say, "If our lives are free from pain, turmoil, and sorrow, our knowledge of God will remain purely academic. Our relationship with Him could be compared with that of a great-great-grandfather about whom we have heard storeis, yet never met personally. We would have great admiration, but no intimacy, no fellowship. There would always be a sense of distance and mystery.
That is not the kind of relationship God wants with His children. Through the death of Christ, God has opened the way for us to have direct access to Him. He went to great lengths to clear the way so that nothing stands between Him and His children. There is potential now for intimacy between us and our Creator...
God is in the process of engineering circumstances through which He can reveal Himself to each of us. And both history as well our personal testimonies bear witness to the fact that it is in times of adversity that we come to a greater realization of God's incredible faithfulness to us"
(This was taken from How to Handle Adversity by Charles Stanley).
So dear sisters, who are we crying out to? The more we know about God and his awesome character the better we can cry out to him, as well as worship and praise Him, through any trial. I think that the more we know about God, the more naturally we will choose to cry out to him rather than the world. As I spend more and more time in His word, I am so so so much better equipped to handle any situation. God reveals Himself to me in trials, through scripture that He has stored up in my heart. And, that's beautiful!!!
Monday, January 21, 2008
discussion notes
Theology for Daily Living: A Class for Women
Session One-“What is Theology and Why is it Necessary for My Life?” Class Notes
About the Class:
Classes meet the third Saturday of each month at
What Is Theology?
1. A Greek Word
The word “theology” is derived from Greek and is actually made up of two Greek words; theos- meaning God and logos- meaning discourse, or study of. Using this we see the most basic definition of theology is really just the study of God; looking at who He is and what He’s done.
2. Another Definition
Webster’s dictionary defines theology as:
“1: the study of religious faith, practice, and experience; especially: the study of God and of God's relation to the world
2 a: theological theory or system
b: a distinctive body of theological opinion
3: a usually 4-year course of specialized religious training in major seminary”
3. A Cultural View
We tend to see theology as #3, something highly specialized that should be left to others or needs to be learned in a university class. What we need to do realize is that first definition is key, and that theology, at its heart, is simply knowing who God is, and this is something we can learn anywhere and is key to our daily living.
4. Theology for Daily Living
Knowing God is essential for wise, practical, daily living. Proverbs
“the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”
Paul, in praying for the Ephesians, prays that they would know God, “that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him” (eph 1:17). The word “know” that Paul uses is epignosis, which implies a more direct, special recognition. Vine’s defines it as an “exact or full knowledge, discernment or recognition.”
We need a knowledge of God to live the life in Christ which we have been saved into.
Do We Know God?
1. What Do You Know?
In Jeremiah 9:23-24 God tells us where our knowledge should lay. “Thus says the LORD, "Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises loving-kindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things," declares the LORD.”
The apostle Paul, in speaking of his ministry in 2 Corinthians 10:12-18, uses the same phrase, “let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” Paul explains that it is the approval of the Lord that we live and work for.
2. We Must Know God Relationally
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,” says Proverbs 1:7. Proverbs
3. What does it mean to “Fear the Lord?”
We are exhorted by God to fear Him throughout the bible (Ones that pertain specifically to our topic include the verses listed above as well as Nehemiah 5:9, 15; Job 6:14, 28:28; Isaiah 33:6; psalm 34:11-14 and the book of proverbs). What does that mean? The Hebrew word “fear” that is used in the context we are talking about is a noun. It is derived from the verb yare, which means “fear, be afraid.” While the noun itself means “fear” or “terror” it includes something more, “reverence” and “piety.” It also implies that the fear in question is directed towards God.
So when we speak about Fear of God, we are speaking of reverential, awesome fear. It is a position of humility, recognizing who we are in light of who God is. That is where true biblical wisdom begins (see 1 Corinthians
Good Theology In Action (Psalm 73)
Psalm 73 offers us an excellent example of how good theology practically works out in our lives.
1. “What I Feel vs. What Is Real”
In verses 1-14, the psalmist describes his feeling of anger and indignation and feeling beat down. But note that he starts with truth, he knows God is a good God, but he is having trouble reconciling what he knows to be true to the circumstances and the feelings those circumstances evoke.
2. Fear of God That Leads To Understanding
The psalmist wants to “vent” and yet he knows that give full expression to his feeling would be a sin against God (verse 15). In verse 16 we can see the struggle he has submitting his will to God, it is “troublesome.”
3. The Curtain Is Torn
Verse 17 is the pivotal verse of this psalm, “Until I came into the sanctuary of God…” The rest of the psalm is filled with praise and worship for the Lord, while the verses before this were filled with turmoil. The turning point for the psalmist comes when he comes to God.
In the Old Testament, we see that access to God was rare. In Leviticus 16 we can see what it took for someone to access the presence of God. And even after the washing, changing of robes, incense burning and animal sacrifice, it was only one man (the high priest) who had access and it was only once a year (the day of atonement).
When Jesus died on the cross He died for all the sins of all mankind. At His death the curtain separating the holy of holies from the rest of the temple was torn. This is a symbol for us of what Jesus accomplished on the cross; we were given access to God
(Matt 27:51).
The author of the book of Hebrews sums what we have in Christ (as contrasted in the Old Testament). In 10:19-22, “Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us for us through the veil, that is, His flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.”
4. Good Theology Leads Us To Worship
When we let go of that which we are holding on to and come before the Lord, we have a right view of ourselves (verses 21-22) and a right view of God (verses 23-24) which naturally leads us to worship Him (25-28).
Discussion Questions
- What is your idea of theology?
- Do you have a “knowing” relationship with God?
- What is your idea of “fearing the Lord?”
- Have you ever been in a situation like our psalmist where your knowledge of God saved you from despair, hopelessness or sinning against God?
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Jessica's story
I don't think I have ever written out my testimony, so I am having a hard time finding the place to start. But here it goes!
I was raised in a Christian home, my parents were worship leaders and served in several bodies that were in need of music. Music was and has always been a big part of my life. My mom stayed at home with us, prayed with us, taught us, cried with us, sang with us and in my eyes could do no wrong. She knew me better than I knew myself. She had been through much heartache and devastation in her life and it was important to her to teach us the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. My dad was another story. He was a likable guy to others but at home he was very different. He struggled with his flesh and selfish desires, and did not know how to love and lead his family the way God had called him to.
My parents ended up separating when I was 10. I had no idea it was coming and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Although I wasn't close to my dad, I still loved him. I choose to stay with my mom in the beginning, but ended up bouncing back and forth between the two of them. My parents were divorced when I was 11 and so the teenage years began.
It was a difficult time but God was there through it all, even when I was angry and tried to run away from him. I found myself witnessing at parties, and for "some reason" everywhere I went, all the the troubled girls were drawn to me. Many times without even being aware of what was happening the word of God was leaking out of me, I would stop sometimes in mid sentence when I realized what I was saying but it was to late, the people that I was unknowingly witnessing to would not let me stop, and neither would the holy spirit inside of me. The Lord used me even when I tried to be unusable. He protected me from danger, when I threw caution to the wind, and spared me from much heartache. Although I went through a rebellious phase it was short lived, I could run no longer and in the summer of My 8th grade year I finally asked to lord to give me a sign, a reason to make a change. That very night he gave me a dream that changed the course of my life. The next morning when I awoke I knew that my path was clear and decided right then and there that I was going to live for him. The Lord used me throughout my high school years, and again spared me the heartache that most of the people around me were experiencing, through drugs alcohol, and promiscuity. For a long time the Lord gave me compassion for people and I was able to see those around me through his eyes. But as time went by I began to compare myself to others, and I didn't understand how they could not refrain from Drinking and sleeping with boys, after all I was able to. I did not realize that I was doing this and that it was a sin, as it was in my heart not in my actions. It wasn't until I met Andy that I truly could have compassion for those that I had judged.
Things did not work out exactly how I had imagined they would, and I became pregnant before we were married. This was one of the hardest things I had ever "had" to accept, because I had dedicated my life to God and promised to stay pure until I was married. I went through a purity ceremony and even wore a small diamond ring to show my commitment to Christ. This was a big deal, a lot of people looked up to me, I was very involved in the church, and I was a youth leader. This experience was one of the most humbling experiences of my entire life. I was so ashamed of myself. I knew that Andy was the man that God had for me, there was no question about it, but we had gone and messed it all up. I laugh a little when I say this, but yet again the Lord spared me from much heartache. He used those I knew I had let down the most to comfort me, love me and show me compassion. What a wonderful father I have. Just in writing this I am reminded of how much he has taken care of me, he has used my life for his works and forgiven me. I love my Father.
In the last few years that we have been attending Seaside church and becoming active in the body of Christ and through the fellowship of the body, God has shown me a lot about myself and about him. He has opened up my eyes to a side of him I have never known. He has also shown me a lot about myself that I have never understood. I am excited to continue learning about the different characters of God and getting to know and serve the body of Christ.
I was raised in a Christian home, my parents were worship leaders and served in several bodies that were in need of music. Music was and has always been a big part of my life. My mom stayed at home with us, prayed with us, taught us, cried with us, sang with us and in my eyes could do no wrong. She knew me better than I knew myself. She had been through much heartache and devastation in her life and it was important to her to teach us the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. My dad was another story. He was a likable guy to others but at home he was very different. He struggled with his flesh and selfish desires, and did not know how to love and lead his family the way God had called him to.
My parents ended up separating when I was 10. I had no idea it was coming and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Although I wasn't close to my dad, I still loved him. I choose to stay with my mom in the beginning, but ended up bouncing back and forth between the two of them. My parents were divorced when I was 11 and so the teenage years began.
It was a difficult time but God was there through it all, even when I was angry and tried to run away from him. I found myself witnessing at parties, and for "some reason" everywhere I went, all the the troubled girls were drawn to me. Many times without even being aware of what was happening the word of God was leaking out of me, I would stop sometimes in mid sentence when I realized what I was saying but it was to late, the people that I was unknowingly witnessing to would not let me stop, and neither would the holy spirit inside of me. The Lord used me even when I tried to be unusable. He protected me from danger, when I threw caution to the wind, and spared me from much heartache. Although I went through a rebellious phase it was short lived, I could run no longer and in the summer of My 8th grade year I finally asked to lord to give me a sign, a reason to make a change. That very night he gave me a dream that changed the course of my life. The next morning when I awoke I knew that my path was clear and decided right then and there that I was going to live for him. The Lord used me throughout my high school years, and again spared me the heartache that most of the people around me were experiencing, through drugs alcohol, and promiscuity. For a long time the Lord gave me compassion for people and I was able to see those around me through his eyes. But as time went by I began to compare myself to others, and I didn't understand how they could not refrain from Drinking and sleeping with boys, after all I was able to. I did not realize that I was doing this and that it was a sin, as it was in my heart not in my actions. It wasn't until I met Andy that I truly could have compassion for those that I had judged.
Things did not work out exactly how I had imagined they would, and I became pregnant before we were married. This was one of the hardest things I had ever "had" to accept, because I had dedicated my life to God and promised to stay pure until I was married. I went through a purity ceremony and even wore a small diamond ring to show my commitment to Christ. This was a big deal, a lot of people looked up to me, I was very involved in the church, and I was a youth leader. This experience was one of the most humbling experiences of my entire life. I was so ashamed of myself. I knew that Andy was the man that God had for me, there was no question about it, but we had gone and messed it all up. I laugh a little when I say this, but yet again the Lord spared me from much heartache. He used those I knew I had let down the most to comfort me, love me and show me compassion. What a wonderful father I have. Just in writing this I am reminded of how much he has taken care of me, he has used my life for his works and forgiven me. I love my Father.
In the last few years that we have been attending Seaside church and becoming active in the body of Christ and through the fellowship of the body, God has shown me a lot about myself and about him. He has opened up my eyes to a side of him I have never known. He has also shown me a lot about myself that I have never understood. I am excited to continue learning about the different characters of God and getting to know and serve the body of Christ.
Heidi's Story
"From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger" Psalm 8:2. I was born on May 4th, into a family of addiction~more specifically, alcoholism. My mother's hope and prayer was that my birth would "silence" the alcohol.
My mother faithfully prayed everyday for her family and strength to serve her husband. She was a mother, father, wife, disciplinary, homemaker, accountant, and spiritual influence. She would never dream of assuming my father's role as head of house. Yet, she was always making up for where he was lacking.
I am so grateful to God for protecting me from seeing, knowing, or understanding what was going on in my childhood with my alcoholic father, wild siblings and worn out mother. To me, childhood was roller-skating, making forts, horseback riding, swimming, going to the neighborhood park, soccer and walking down to the local flower shop to rummage through their garbage for flowers to bring home to mom.
Yeah, I knew God. Mom took us to church on Sundays. I knew all the books of the Bible, memorized verses, loved the felt board stories, was a Christain. I can honestly say I feared God. But my fear was not worshipful or serving. It was "please don't send me to hell" fear. June 27, 1980, as recalled by my mother, would be the first of many times I accepted Jesus into my heart~ just in case the time before didn't work. I didn't really know God at all. But, He faithfully continued to protect me.
As I grew up at home, I became aware of a few things. My father liked to drink (to help soothe his stomach, of course), my mother was a perfectionist, and my siblings were out of control~ drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and I really didn't like going to church.
Soon enough it was off to college, which took me to Boise, ID, or should I say getting away from mom and dad's rule took me to Boise, ID. It was time to start making my own decisions. Shortly after moving, I made some girlfriends and the very sinful life of college was born. Through my utter foolishness God continued to protect me. I look back now in awe of his patience and loving kindness. My Father so full of grace and mercy. He never gave up on me as I waffled back and forth, feeling convicted of the choices I was making.
In the next several years I would graduate from college, get an accounting job with Albertson's, see my mom and dad get a divorce, waffle a little more, meet my future husband, Derrek, and THEN FINALLY find a church where actual Bible teaching was takin g place. For the first time that I can remember I was actually hearing, listening to and understanding the word of God.
But, I would still face some pretty big challenges ahead. An illness in our family brought us back to Washington in 2001. Derrek and I came together, to live together. We began attending the church that my mom and sister and her family attended. Although, I was seriously struggling. I was so overwhelmed with guilt for living with Derrek, trying hard to ignore it and attempting to play the role of wife when I really wasn't. This was a horrible season in our realtionship. Finally, I couldn't bear it any longer and moved out to live with my sister in Marysville, about an hour north of Derrek.
Upon my move to Marysville, my sister's husband lost his battle to cancer. For the next six months, I lived with her and my three nieces and nephew. I truly believe this was the hardest six months of my life. I was commuting for approxiamtely 2 1/2 hours a day, sometimes more. I wasn't getting to see Derrek, nearly at all. I was dealing with the loss of a family member, my sister's grief and the grief of their four children. I was helping to fill a parental role, especially in times when my sister was so weak. I'd gone from having my own life, own space, to sleeping on the top bunk of my nieces bed and making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
But, God was so real to me now. His protection was clearer to me now more than any other time in life so far. He watched over me as I commuted each morning, kept me healthy as I was surrounded by sickness constantly, gave me energy and refreshment through sleepless nights and long, long days. I was able to comfort my sister and her kids in ways I didn't think I could have been capable of, which I totall attribute to God and the power of the Holy Spirit.
Then, as if we weren't trying to manage enough, Derrek and I decided to set a wedding date. We had been engaged just prior to moving to Seattle and would marry in March 2002. Again, God is good, He will not give us more than we can bear. In a sense, it brought some happiness to the family in a time of real suffering.
March 9, 2002, Derrek and I finally began our life together as husband and wife. We loved out neighborhood in Seattle. We loved to travel. We loved our new church. But, God was beginning to prepare our hearts and minds and lives for something much bigger~ the arrival of Derrek's 6 year old sweet, sweet son, Gage, who came to live with us full time in June 2004. This was a fun, exciting and very challenging time, as a new mother. Derrek was working in Tacoma, I was in Bellevue and racing back across the water each day to get Gage from daycare by 6pm.
But, again, God was preparing me for something bigger. After much resistance and questioning God, I quit my job in September 2005. God richly blessed me for being obedient. Iwas finally in a women's Bible study, reading my Bible, and praying regularly. I was truly getting to know God. I Corinthians 7:17 says, "...each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him". God was showing me how to serve my family with all my heart, as that is what He had called me to do at that time. Suddenly, everything I had been doing, serving my husband, taking care of Gage, loving Gage, and housework took on a whole new meaning. I was honoring God trusting and submitting to His will for my life.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5&6. Trusting whole-heartedly was sometimes difficult now, as I so desired to have a baby of my own. But God's timing is so perfect. Again, I feel like his protection was so evident as He waited and waited and waited some more. He was teaching me now that desiring an obedient heart towards Him was far greater than anything else I could ever desire~even a baby.
After, a couple of years of trying and, more importantly, finally giving it over to God (and really being at peace with that) we got pregnant. April 29, 2007 our sweet baby boy Jett ws born. God's timing was perfect! Isn't it always?! He knew the big picture~ getting a home ready to sell, painting, cleaning, selling, buying a new home, packing, moving and, in the midst of it all, losing my precious grandma. He was protecting me and the sweet little one He would weave in my womb.
I love my Father God so much. He has been my mighty protector through so many trials whether self inflicted or not. I am made speechless constanly by His grace and mercy and loving kindness. I would say that's it. But, this is just the beginning. I will continue to grow, learning so much about the character of God, until the day I see Him in heaven.
"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" Philippians 3:14. Amen!!
My mother faithfully prayed everyday for her family and strength to serve her husband. She was a mother, father, wife, disciplinary, homemaker, accountant, and spiritual influence. She would never dream of assuming my father's role as head of house. Yet, she was always making up for where he was lacking.
I am so grateful to God for protecting me from seeing, knowing, or understanding what was going on in my childhood with my alcoholic father, wild siblings and worn out mother. To me, childhood was roller-skating, making forts, horseback riding, swimming, going to the neighborhood park, soccer and walking down to the local flower shop to rummage through their garbage for flowers to bring home to mom.
Yeah, I knew God. Mom took us to church on Sundays. I knew all the books of the Bible, memorized verses, loved the felt board stories, was a Christain. I can honestly say I feared God. But my fear was not worshipful or serving. It was "please don't send me to hell" fear. June 27, 1980, as recalled by my mother, would be the first of many times I accepted Jesus into my heart~ just in case the time before didn't work. I didn't really know God at all. But, He faithfully continued to protect me.
As I grew up at home, I became aware of a few things. My father liked to drink (to help soothe his stomach, of course), my mother was a perfectionist, and my siblings were out of control~ drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and I really didn't like going to church.
Soon enough it was off to college, which took me to Boise, ID, or should I say getting away from mom and dad's rule took me to Boise, ID. It was time to start making my own decisions. Shortly after moving, I made some girlfriends and the very sinful life of college was born. Through my utter foolishness God continued to protect me. I look back now in awe of his patience and loving kindness. My Father so full of grace and mercy. He never gave up on me as I waffled back and forth, feeling convicted of the choices I was making.
In the next several years I would graduate from college, get an accounting job with Albertson's, see my mom and dad get a divorce, waffle a little more, meet my future husband, Derrek, and THEN FINALLY find a church where actual Bible teaching was takin g place. For the first time that I can remember I was actually hearing, listening to and understanding the word of God.
But, I would still face some pretty big challenges ahead. An illness in our family brought us back to Washington in 2001. Derrek and I came together, to live together. We began attending the church that my mom and sister and her family attended. Although, I was seriously struggling. I was so overwhelmed with guilt for living with Derrek, trying hard to ignore it and attempting to play the role of wife when I really wasn't. This was a horrible season in our realtionship. Finally, I couldn't bear it any longer and moved out to live with my sister in Marysville, about an hour north of Derrek.
Upon my move to Marysville, my sister's husband lost his battle to cancer. For the next six months, I lived with her and my three nieces and nephew. I truly believe this was the hardest six months of my life. I was commuting for approxiamtely 2 1/2 hours a day, sometimes more. I wasn't getting to see Derrek, nearly at all. I was dealing with the loss of a family member, my sister's grief and the grief of their four children. I was helping to fill a parental role, especially in times when my sister was so weak. I'd gone from having my own life, own space, to sleeping on the top bunk of my nieces bed and making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
But, God was so real to me now. His protection was clearer to me now more than any other time in life so far. He watched over me as I commuted each morning, kept me healthy as I was surrounded by sickness constantly, gave me energy and refreshment through sleepless nights and long, long days. I was able to comfort my sister and her kids in ways I didn't think I could have been capable of, which I totall attribute to God and the power of the Holy Spirit.
Then, as if we weren't trying to manage enough, Derrek and I decided to set a wedding date. We had been engaged just prior to moving to Seattle and would marry in March 2002. Again, God is good, He will not give us more than we can bear. In a sense, it brought some happiness to the family in a time of real suffering.
March 9, 2002, Derrek and I finally began our life together as husband and wife. We loved out neighborhood in Seattle. We loved to travel. We loved our new church. But, God was beginning to prepare our hearts and minds and lives for something much bigger~ the arrival of Derrek's 6 year old sweet, sweet son, Gage, who came to live with us full time in June 2004. This was a fun, exciting and very challenging time, as a new mother. Derrek was working in Tacoma, I was in Bellevue and racing back across the water each day to get Gage from daycare by 6pm.
But, again, God was preparing me for something bigger. After much resistance and questioning God, I quit my job in September 2005. God richly blessed me for being obedient. Iwas finally in a women's Bible study, reading my Bible, and praying regularly. I was truly getting to know God. I Corinthians 7:17 says, "...each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him". God was showing me how to serve my family with all my heart, as that is what He had called me to do at that time. Suddenly, everything I had been doing, serving my husband, taking care of Gage, loving Gage, and housework took on a whole new meaning. I was honoring God trusting and submitting to His will for my life.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5&6. Trusting whole-heartedly was sometimes difficult now, as I so desired to have a baby of my own. But God's timing is so perfect. Again, I feel like his protection was so evident as He waited and waited and waited some more. He was teaching me now that desiring an obedient heart towards Him was far greater than anything else I could ever desire~even a baby.
After, a couple of years of trying and, more importantly, finally giving it over to God (and really being at peace with that) we got pregnant. April 29, 2007 our sweet baby boy Jett ws born. God's timing was perfect! Isn't it always?! He knew the big picture~ getting a home ready to sell, painting, cleaning, selling, buying a new home, packing, moving and, in the midst of it all, losing my precious grandma. He was protecting me and the sweet little one He would weave in my womb.
I love my Father God so much. He has been my mighty protector through so many trials whether self inflicted or not. I am made speechless constanly by His grace and mercy and loving kindness. I would say that's it. But, this is just the beginning. I will continue to grow, learning so much about the character of God, until the day I see Him in heaven.
"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" Philippians 3:14. Amen!!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Testify
I like stories about the saints. Right now I am reading about St. Teresa of Avila. I really enjoy the biographies like those of Dominic, Luther, Jerome. These aren't boring reads (seriously, Jerome cracks me up), but fascinating insights into the workings of God in peoples lives.
Psalm 73 says ,
"I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works."
In Psalm 40, the psalmist tells us of how God saved him out of his
troubles and gave him new life. In light of this he says,
"Many will see and fear
And will trust in the LORD."
God has saved each one of us out of sin and death and depravity and brought us into a new life in Christ. When we live gospel-centered lives, we live unto God. Not only that, but for each of us the story of our salvation (and subsequent sanctification) is a story of God's work, His grace, mercy and loving-kindness towards us. In that each story is the same.
The difference is in the how. God has called us to Himself, but how He has done that is different for each person. In biographies of those who have gone before us and in the testimonies we ourselves have to offer, we can see different attributes of God's character; His patience, His sovereignty, His majesty, His wisdom, etc.
To that end we will be, over the next couple of weeks, offering up our individual testimonies that you may be encouraged and we may tell of what God has done (and is doing).
In Psalm 40, the psalmist tells us of how God saved him out of his
troubles and gave him new life. In light of this he says,
"Many will see and fear
And will trust in the LORD."
God has saved each one of us out of sin and death and depravity and brought us into a new life in Christ. When we live gospel-centered lives, we live unto God. Not only that, but for each of us the story of our salvation (and subsequent sanctification) is a story of God's work, His grace, mercy and loving-kindness towards us. In that each story is the same.
The difference is in the how. God has called us to Himself, but how He has done that is different for each person. In biographies of those who have gone before us and in the testimonies we ourselves have to offer, we can see different attributes of God's character; His patience, His sovereignty, His majesty, His wisdom, etc.
To that end we will be, over the next couple of weeks, offering up our individual testimonies that you may be encouraged and we may tell of what God has done (and is doing).
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Behold your King
I love Christmas music. I start listening to it before Thanksgiving, before Kit is ready for it...but I love it. I like it fast and slow, rocked out, in different languages--for me it is just an exciting way to worship Jesus, something special and set apart from the regular.
One of my favorites is "O Holy Night" and as I was trying to run all my errands in one go, with three kids in tow, the girls began singing this song. And I was struck, not for the first time, but in a more profound way, that we do know theology, we sing it every year.
Here is an example- these verses are from the second stanza;
Those three verses sum up two amazing theological points, the first is that Jesus was both fully God and fully man. He was the King of Kings and he was born to a woman. In Philippians 2: 7 we see that Jesus "did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." Jesus was equal to God, and also a man.
The second is that Jesus, our God, knows by experience the trials and temptations of this life. Hebrews 2:4 says, "For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted." God knows us. Our God lived, suffered, died and rose into heaven. That's it. That's theology. Even at Christmas.
The best part about "O Holy Night," is the verse following the ones above,
One of my favorites is "O Holy Night" and as I was trying to run all my errands in one go, with three kids in tow, the girls began singing this song. And I was struck, not for the first time, but in a more profound way, that we do know theology, we sing it every year.
Here is an example- these verses are from the second stanza;
The King of Kings lay in a lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friend.
He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger,
Those three verses sum up two amazing theological points, the first is that Jesus was both fully God and fully man. He was the King of Kings and he was born to a woman. In Philippians 2: 7 we see that Jesus "did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men." Jesus was equal to God, and also a man.
The second is that Jesus, our God, knows by experience the trials and temptations of this life. Hebrews 2:4 says, "For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted." God knows us. Our God lived, suffered, died and rose into heaven. That's it. That's theology. Even at Christmas.
The best part about "O Holy Night," is the verse following the ones above,
Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!
Our reaction to theology, to talking about God, should be worship. When we see King Jesus, whether depicted as a babe in the manger or a man on the cross, our first impulse should be to worship.
So this Christmas, as we rush all around (or if your lucky, stay home), remember that He is our King, He knows us, and He is worthy of all worship.
Our reaction to theology, to talking about God, should be worship. When we see King Jesus, whether depicted as a babe in the manger or a man on the cross, our first impulse should be to worship.
So this Christmas, as we rush all around (or if your lucky, stay home), remember that He is our King, He knows us, and He is worthy of all worship.
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