Heidi's Story

"From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger" Psalm 8:2. I was born on May 4th, into a family of addiction~more specifically, alcoholism. My mother's hope and prayer was that my birth would "silence" the alcohol.

My mother faithfully prayed everyday for her family and strength to serve her husband. She was a mother, father, wife, disciplinary, homemaker, accountant, and spiritual influence. She would never dream of assuming my father's role as head of house. Yet, she was always making up for where he was lacking.

I am so grateful to God for protecting me from seeing, knowing, or understanding what was going on in my childhood with my alcoholic father, wild siblings and worn out mother. To me, childhood was roller-skating, making forts, horseback riding, swimming, going to the neighborhood park, soccer and walking down to the local flower shop to rummage through their garbage for flowers to bring home to mom.

Yeah, I knew God. Mom took us to church on Sundays. I knew all the books of the Bible, memorized verses, loved the felt board stories, was a Christain. I can honestly say I feared God. But my fear was not worshipful or serving. It was "please don't send me to hell" fear. June 27, 1980, as recalled by my mother, would be the first of many times I accepted Jesus into my heart~ just in case the time before didn't work. I didn't really know God at all. But, He faithfully continued to protect me.

As I grew up at home, I became aware of a few things. My father liked to drink (to help soothe his stomach, of course), my mother was a perfectionist, and my siblings were out of control~ drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and I really didn't like going to church.

Soon enough it was off to college, which took me to Boise, ID, or should I say getting away from mom and dad's rule took me to Boise, ID. It was time to start making my own decisions. Shortly after moving, I made some girlfriends and the very sinful life of college was born. Through my utter foolishness God continued to protect me. I look back now in awe of his patience and loving kindness. My Father so full of grace and mercy. He never gave up on me as I waffled back and forth, feeling convicted of the choices I was making.

In the next several years I would graduate from college, get an accounting job with Albertson's, see my mom and dad get a divorce, waffle a little more, meet my future husband, Derrek, and THEN FINALLY find a church where actual Bible teaching was takin g place. For the first time that I can remember I was actually hearing, listening to and understanding the word of God.

But, I would still face some pretty big challenges ahead. An illness in our family brought us back to Washington in 2001. Derrek and I came together, to live together. We began attending the church that my mom and sister and her family attended. Although, I was seriously struggling. I was so overwhelmed with guilt for living with Derrek, trying hard to ignore it and attempting to play the role of wife when I really wasn't. This was a horrible season in our realtionship. Finally, I couldn't bear it any longer and moved out to live with my sister in Marysville, about an hour north of Derrek.

Upon my move to Marysville, my sister's husband lost his battle to cancer. For the next six months, I lived with her and my three nieces and nephew. I truly believe this was the hardest six months of my life. I was commuting for approxiamtely 2 1/2 hours a day, sometimes more. I wasn't getting to see Derrek, nearly at all. I was dealing with the loss of a family member, my sister's grief and the grief of their four children. I was helping to fill a parental role, especially in times when my sister was so weak. I'd gone from having my own life, own space, to sleeping on the top bunk of my nieces bed and making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

But, God was so real to me now. His protection was clearer to me now more than any other time in life so far. He watched over me as I commuted each morning, kept me healthy as I was surrounded by sickness constantly, gave me energy and refreshment through sleepless nights and long, long days. I was able to comfort my sister and her kids in ways I didn't think I could have been capable of, which I totall attribute to God and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Then, as if we weren't trying to manage enough, Derrek and I decided to set a wedding date. We had been engaged just prior to moving to Seattle and would marry in March 2002. Again, God is good, He will not give us more than we can bear. In a sense, it brought some happiness to the family in a time of real suffering.

March 9, 2002, Derrek and I finally began our life together as husband and wife. We loved out neighborhood in Seattle. We loved to travel. We loved our new church. But, God was beginning to prepare our hearts and minds and lives for something much bigger~ the arrival of Derrek's 6 year old sweet, sweet son, Gage, who came to live with us full time in June 2004. This was a fun, exciting and very challenging time, as a new mother. Derrek was working in Tacoma, I was in Bellevue and racing back across the water each day to get Gage from daycare by 6pm.

But, again, God was preparing me for something bigger. After much resistance and questioning God, I quit my job in September 2005. God richly blessed me for being obedient. Iwas finally in a women's Bible study, reading my Bible, and praying regularly. I was truly getting to know God. I Corinthians 7:17 says, "...each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him". God was showing me how to serve my family with all my heart, as that is what He had called me to do at that time. Suddenly, everything I had been doing, serving my husband, taking care of Gage, loving Gage, and housework took on a whole new meaning. I was honoring God trusting and submitting to His will for my life.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5&6. Trusting whole-heartedly was sometimes difficult now, as I so desired to have a baby of my own. But God's timing is so perfect. Again, I feel like his protection was so evident as He waited and waited and waited some more. He was teaching me now that desiring an obedient heart towards Him was far greater than anything else I could ever desire~even a baby.

After, a couple of years of trying and, more importantly, finally giving it over to God (and really being at peace with that) we got pregnant. April 29, 2007 our sweet baby boy Jett ws born. God's timing was perfect! Isn't it always?! He knew the big picture~ getting a home ready to sell, painting, cleaning, selling, buying a new home, packing, moving and, in the midst of it all, losing my precious grandma. He was protecting me and the sweet little one He would weave in my womb.

I love my Father God so much. He has been my mighty protector through so many trials whether self inflicted or not. I am made speechless constanly by His grace and mercy and loving kindness. I would say that's it. But, this is just the beginning. I will continue to grow, learning so much about the character of God, until the day I see Him in heaven.

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" Philippians 3:14. Amen!!