Jessica's story

I don't think I have ever written out my testimony, so I am having a hard time finding the place to start. But here it goes!

I was raised in a Christian home, my parents were worship leaders and served in several bodies that were in need of music. Music was and has always been a big part of my life. My mom stayed at home with us, prayed with us, taught us, cried with us, sang with us and in my eyes could do no wrong. She knew me better than I knew myself. She had been through much heartache and devastation in her life and it was important to her to teach us the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. My dad was another story. He was a likable guy to others but at home he was very different. He struggled with his flesh and selfish desires, and did not know how to love and lead his family the way God had called him to.

My parents ended up separating when I was 10. I had no idea it was coming and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Although I wasn't close to my dad, I still loved him. I choose to stay with my mom in the beginning, but ended up bouncing back and forth between the two of them. My parents were divorced when I was 11 and so the teenage years began.
It was a difficult time but God was there through it all, even when I was angry and tried to run away from him. I found myself witnessing at parties, and for "some reason" everywhere I went, all the the troubled girls were drawn to me. Many times without even being aware of what was happening the word of God was leaking out of me, I would stop sometimes in mid sentence when I realized what I was saying but it was to late, the people that I was unknowingly witnessing to would not let me stop, and neither would the holy spirit inside of me. The Lord used me even when I tried to be unusable. He protected me from danger, when I threw caution to the wind, and spared me from much heartache. Although I went through a rebellious phase it was short lived, I could run no longer and in the summer of My 8th grade year I finally asked to lord to give me a sign, a reason to make a change. That very night he gave me a dream that changed the course of my life. The next morning when I awoke I knew that my path was clear and decided right then and there that I was going to live for him. The Lord used me throughout my high school years, and again spared me the heartache that most of the people around me were experiencing, through drugs alcohol, and promiscuity. For a long time the Lord gave me compassion for people and I was able to see those around me through his eyes. But as time went by I began to compare myself to others, and I didn't understand how they could not refrain from Drinking and sleeping with boys, after all I was able to. I did not realize that I was doing this and that it was a sin, as it was in my heart not in my actions. It wasn't until I met Andy that I truly could have compassion for those that I had judged.

Things did not work out exactly how I had imagined they would, and I became pregnant before we were married. This was one of the hardest things I had ever "had" to accept, because I had dedicated my life to God and promised to stay pure until I was married. I went through a purity ceremony and even wore a small diamond ring to show my commitment to Christ. This was a big deal, a lot of people looked up to me, I was very involved in the church, and I was a youth leader. This experience was one of the most humbling experiences of my entire life. I was so ashamed of myself. I knew that Andy was the man that God had for me, there was no question about it, but we had gone and messed it all up. I laugh a little when I say this, but yet again the Lord spared me from much heartache. He used those I knew I had let down the most to comfort me, love me and show me compassion. What a wonderful father I have. Just in writing this I am reminded of how much he has taken care of me, he has used my life for his works and forgiven me. I love my Father.

In the last few years that we have been attending Seaside church and becoming active in the body of Christ and through the fellowship of the body, God has shown me a lot about myself and about him. He has opened up my eyes to a side of him I have never known. He has also shown me a lot about myself that I have never understood. I am excited to continue learning about the different characters of God and getting to know and serve the body of Christ.