Chrissy P.'s Story

Well Seaside is reaching for the bottom of the barrel when they ask for my testimony, did I say that out loud ? Crystal asked me about doing this I believe a month ago. It sounded like an easy task, but one day went into another and I struggled for what to say or not say. Don't really feel qualified or good at being a Christan, still pretty amazed that God really wants an intimate real relationship with me, a schmuck from Bremerton. So I am praying this will be received in his authority and not my own. If anything , I would love my family and friends to hear how and to whom I profess my faith, so I guess it's all good.
I feel like God's hand was on me and in my life since early on. Didn't always acknowledge this and struggled with his purpose in the pain not only for me , but particularly the people in my life. Our family like so many were victimized by abuse and abandoned at times by this fallen world. No one ever wakes up and says hey I think this good looking , manipulative individual is cute I think I'll marry him so my children and loved ones can be tormented. It just happened. If anything I have learned a lot of offenders are snakes, some are very successful, good looking, seem nice, and spiritual leaders in some places. I am explaining that I was not the only victim, so read this with mercy and grace, we were all victims . God's permissive will allowed this to happen, but he also gifted me with a huge obnoxious mouth which often gets me into trouble. Had I not had this annoying mouth the abuse would have never been discovered or stopped at the age of 5. Never saw my biological s---- doner, or my grandmother on his side any more. What is interesting my brother later contacted him 2 yrs. ago and he never thought he did anything wrong, nor do I expect him to, unless its Gods will, my Grandmother lives in a nursing home in Florida and is 93, I guess I look like her, I have been petitioning in prayer for their forgiveness and peacefulness, probably out of pity because I know there is a just a fair God whom will make them know , and also hope even for them that they might know Christ and be forgiven as well........It only took me till I was almost 40 to do this,I am a slow learner.

I was baptised by my Grandpa at the age of 8. I knew God and Jesus loved me , and I felt loved during my baptism . But God and Jesus seemed distant still, literal like up in heaven. Someone I spoke to when things were reallllllly bad. Mom re-married , knucklehead #2, we all thought he was OK, we met him at church.... After years of my mother being emotionally abused, my bro. physically , and finally me as a young teen sexually abused. I would say the best thing that came from all this was my little sister, and all the free counseling, part of WA state's reformation program, thank you tax payers. He still was a bad guy but the abuse stopped, but I believe it was that loud mouth that I was blessed with that stopped it all again and protected my sister, it was God. we spent years in counseling, sometimes we would go 2-3 nights per wk. It was another blessing, I needed it to live. I was suicidal at times and put myself in scary situations over and over mostly because I felt responsible for it all. Again God's hand was on me at church camps, and protected more times than I even know, because physically I came through some pretty dark scary Godless places unscathed, Thank you God.
My Grandpa was, my hero, he was orphaned young, barely educated past the 3rd grade. But he was a great Grandpa, and he loved everyone , appropriately, he was safe, and the closest thing to a Dad I had known. Everyone knew him, he waved at everyone, even sometimes to no one, he fought on Normandy beach, he was one of my protectors. He died at the age of 62 while we were camping, I fished with him that morning. You always saw love and God at work in him even when he mumbled under his breath, or whatever, I think that's why everyone loved him. I finished nursing school by the grace of God, it was tough. I was engaged for 8yrs. to Jourdan's biological dad. I helped raise 4 of his 5 teens, Scotty for 6 yrs. I always seemed to pick good looking guys who were emotionally and physically unavailable, much of what I grew up with,so it seemed tolerable. Jourdan was born when I was 26yrs. It was one of the best things in my life, the scariest, the most humbling. We split up, due to Gods plan to give me a better life, which I didn't know was possible. At the time I hit bottom, wasn't that there was this great relationship lost, I lost the kids I took care of forever that was horrible, it was the last straw for me. I am sure I wouldn't have made it through all this without Jourdan. It wasn't the affair, I had come to expect little from most men. It was the fact I still felt responsible for everyone leaving. I was depressed, bitter,and angry. The only reason I made better choices for my life was for my child, and then after a while they became for me as well. I began to pray more when I became a Mom. With God's hand still on me I quit smoking after 10 yrs. I met and married a great guy, George. Talk about ascary leap of faith; he was more normal than I thought possible, was a great Dad and proposed to J as well as me, and he really loves me......I know it totally blew my mind too. I still only gave us a year, I had no faith in marriage. We laugh about it now. My Mother, who is another hero to me, married my now adopted dad, Loren, who has been in my life in an appropriate, safe way for 11 yrs. I didn't know how much I needed a dad till God gave me one. And God threw in extra family with him too, if it could get better. My Mom is so happy. God is good.

Ryley was also a gift in my life, she really completed and brought both of our families together. Because of her I got to learn about re-prioritizing, and learned time with my family was so much more important. I took 4 yrs. off work, and joined Mops. I met a good friends Tanna and Tarra there, they bought me a Bible, which I have read cover to cover, and over and over again. Thanks God. I started looking for a church to participate in. My neighbor had been inviting me for a while, I thought she was a Bible thumping freak......I was right, thank you Brytt. Since then I have prayed to know and walk with God more intimately. God has surrounded me with a great cloud of witnesses at seaside whom have seen me through a couple different jobs, seen me struggle with pride and control, with my old wounds. George had quadruple heart bi pass surgery last March where they artificially stopped and fixed his heart, I was so supported and loved on by God, through my family, my family and friends and seaside, even by some atheist friends whom I am sure were prompted by God to also fix my gutters, chop wood, and fix the heater, all which went to shit at the same time. During this time I kept reflecting on Lazarus, and Jesus' mercy as he wept for Lazarus.
I am still and will be a continual work of God till his time with me on earth is done. I now know that God seems to have a thing for all these wretches in the bible; Paul, Mary Magdalene, Judah, the tax payer, etc. I know now that my Abba and king in heaven is powerful , sovereign and more loving than is even fathomable. I don't regret any of this time or anything here, in fact I am thankful because now I can testify to you, but also I now work with other young girls and broken people who are full of despair whom have been cast aside, abused and have given up, and I can look at them with confidence and know that there is HOPE AND HEALING IN CHRIST FOR EVERYONE, because of what he has done to me, my family and friends. Now that big mouth I have been blessed with,still gets me into trouble sometimes but now I get to sing in a rock band at church and worship God......Amazing Love!!

Favorite scriptures:
Philippians 4:7, Philippians 4:13, Ephesians3:20-221, Psalms 18:2, Romans8:35-39*
Thanks to the Theology Class Psalms 73,(Thanks Bridget)